Almost 10 years ago I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. We had been trying to have a baby for 2-3 years and decided that we would go see an endocrinologist to find out what the hold up was. The outcome: small ovaries and very few follicles. My egg count was also way down.
Whoa!!!! How could this be? I was only 33 years old and basically my body was going through menopause. Sort of...I don't have any of the major menopause symptoms it's just that "aunt flo" doesn't visit on a regular basis. Kind of nice when you're not trying to conceive a child...kind of sucky when you are. At any rate, the doctor basically told me that it wasn't very likely that I would get pregnant on my own. The next step was invitro and likely a donor egg.
As this was a road that neither of us wanted to go down, we sat on this information for awhile. Then we started to discuss adoption. We filled out paperwork, went to meetings, but in the end that also wasn't meant to be. While my husband was on board with a
As I said before, it has taken me a long time to heal. I have had the gamut of emotions. I have questioned my faith. I have doubted my own worthiness. I have thought about what could have been. I have regretted the decisions we made. It's been a long road to say the least.
Turns out, once I was done feeling worthless and sorry for myself, my life is better than I even imagined it could be. I am married to my best friend and soul mate. I have a job that I can't wait to go to every day. I have a great family. I have amazing friends who are like my 2nd family. I am mom to many fur babies. And "mom" to countless kids I have had the privilege of teaching over the years. I am truly blessed!